it gets messier as you go

step into my mind as i build something but also maybe nothing

I’m going to try something a little different.

An honest, behind-the-scenes of what I’m working on.

What I’m thinking.

Rather than sharing something fully formed.

Here’s where I’m at…

I’m restarting a meditation group in Wellington, NZ.

I know that I love facilitating and holding space for people.

Connection.

But I also know that I love creating.

Writing, videos, courses, using my voice.

I need an outlet for my self-expression.

Somehow, I want to mould a life that combines both of these passions.

And I feel stuck.

Rule 101 of business = focus.

I’ve been in the game of entrepreneurship for a few years now.

And I know I get easily distracted by the next shiny thing.

And I know that I do what I think I ‘should’ do, rather than what gives me joy.

So I’m trying to get my head around what to do next.

I’ve never been able to commit to a marketing channel.

I would do bursts of three months or so on Instagram before it burnt me out.

I hated that my mind became twisted towards looking for content in my life.

It’s not how I want to live.

I created 20 YouTube videos by working weekly.

That was great, and very fulfilling.

But it’s a very involved process.

I want to share bitesize ideas, things I notice, be a little messy.

With Substack, I found myself getting a little worn down by self-help.

There’s so much of it out there.

It’s already a huge part of my life.

I just want a space to express myself in different, more nuanced ways.

So fuck it.

I’m just going to lay out my mind here.

Not as a marketing channel.

But for fun.

And maybe to help you if you’re going through something similar.

I’m going to start by sharing my end-of-week notes.

A quick review of what I’ve done and what I’m doing next.

So here we go:

This week has been a good one. I got my event listing for Pathways to Presence set up. I sent around a couple of emails to my newsletter subscribers to let them know about it. And I worked out the final contract details for the space I’m renting. I had a coaching discovery session with someone which led to them signing up with me. I feel like momentum has returned. And I feel excited about creating a digital programme. I’ve written a few days content - it’s mostly stream of consciousness but I know the creative process is iterative. It’s better to get something down and come back and refine it.

What’s coming up? I have a couple interesting coffee catch-ups planned tomorrow. One with another coach who I started chatting to in the gym a while ago. We finally locked down a date after several “we should totally grab a coffee!”. I found that actually pulling out the phone there and then is the best way to get out of scheduling limbo. And someone found my website and wants to talk to me about some speaking engagement. Could be cool! (Or could be a scam, who knows 😂). And then I have the first meditation event on Sunday.

What’s getting in my way? Myself. Ain’t it always! Today I was meant to get stuck into my programme. But lo and behold I spent three hours going round in circles trying to get the perfect plan. “Whats the programme called?” It doesn’t matter. “How do I market it?”. It doesn’t matter. “What problem am I solving?” It doesn’t matter. I know this rodeo. I just need to get started. Get going. But procrastination is a devilish little creature and has led me to this very post.